Stop Beating Yourself Up: Your Flaws are Perfect

Hey Guys and Happy New Year! How is it 2019?!

I hope the holidays were nice to you, filled with lots of family time, or alone time, or relaxation time, or whatever kind of time you needed. You do you girl!

Our holidays were busy. We had like 5 consecutive Christmas dinners. I’m not complaining! I didn’t have to cook for a week and we had such great visits with family and friends. Hubby also had a nice chunk of time off work, and it was so nice to have morning coffee with him. That is what Christmas time is all about for me 🙂

Ava LOVED Christmas. She’s still a little too young to understand the concept of Santa Claus, or of the true meaning of the holiday, but that did not stop her from saying “woooooow” to every Christmas light or snowman she saw. She enjoyed some lots of Christmas baking and going to bed past her bedtime, though we are back to healthy eating and a strict bedtime routine now. I can hardly wait for our next Christmas 🙂

Now that a new year has begun, it is that time when many people sit down and write down their resolutions.

The problem with resolutions is that they’re usually broken by the end of January. After thinking about it, I nailed down some very specific ones that I thought I would be able to stick with.

  1. Drink 80 ounces of water per day (baby needs hydration!)

  2. Do a pregnancy-friendly workout 3 times per week (I’m nailing this one)

  3. Limit sweets to the weekend (this is a challenge for me; chocolate is life)

BUT, my favourite resolution is . . .

4. Stop beating myself up (figuratively speaking of course)

This is the hardest resolution to follow, and you know what? That is so sad! It’s sad because I’m not the only mom who beats herself up and criticizes herself the worst. This shouldn’t be the case.

And yet . . . it is the case.

Related: It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay: the Truth about being a Parent

In fact, I most recently critiqued myself harshly last night. Oh, and this morning too. I am at a point in my second pregnancy where I am not sleeping properly, my body hurts everywhere, and I am overly emotional (ie. third trimester). It’s like second trimester ended, and I got hit by a hurricane overnight.

Because of this, I’m not feeling on top of the world. In fact, I kind of feel like a snail, veeeerrryyyy slooooowwwwlllllyyyyy trailing along through my days.

Of course, this is not how I feel every day. But when I do, I am hard on myself. The emotional instability allows self-doubt to creep in. Am I a good mom? Did Ava eat enough vegetables today? Did I do enough to show her that I love her? Am I neglectful because I can’t get down on the floor with her to play?

These are hard feelings to have, especially when there is another child making its arrival very soon. They are also NORMAL feelings to have. But . . . just because they are normal, does not make them true. Think about that for a second.

It’s just like when Ava was two months old and I told her I was going to put her in a basket and send her down the river. Keep in mind I hadn’t slept in days. OBVIOUSLY it’s a lie, and I would never do that to my precious, screaming bundle of baby. But the feelings of being trapped, exhausted, overwhelmed, and hormonal were normal.

Doubting yourself is normal. It’s human. It shows that you care about doing your absolute best. I would feel very skeptical of the woman/mother who says “I’ve got everything perfectly under control 100% of the time”. It just isn’t possible.

What is important is that you allow yourself to feel this way, embrace it, and let it pass so you can see the dawn of a new day. As long as your children are happy, healthy, and loved, you are doing a perfect job. It really doesn’t matter if their socks are mismatched, if dinner is ready right on time, or if the floor gets washed.

So please, please, please don’t beat yourself up. You are totally perfect the way you are with your unwashed hair, under-eye circles, and legs that could use a shave. Your kids love you no matter what.

#parenting #advice #Motherhood #NewYearsResolutions #Confidence #empowerment

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